I want to start this blog off, breaking down what “confidence” is by sharing a quote;

“Confidence is more an action than a feeling” ~ Sarah Nicole Landry

Scrolling through Instagram I came across this quote hidden in a post. When I read it I felt like it needs to be shouted from rooftops! 

It is the truest thing about confidence that I have ever heard. Tony Robbins also has some great articles and is an incredible person to learn daily practices to help you feel more confident.

As a boudoir photographer, I have photographed many girls who, from the outside, appear so confident and sure of themselves.

In our sessions, I get to know them on a more vulnerable level and every single one has some sort of self-doubt in the back of their minds that they are actively working to shut out. 

I am a professional model and have done many boudoir shoots myself. I am sure a lot of people would assume I’m confident as I go up in front of large groups and pose myself with 15+ cameras pointed at me. 

I’ve seen many photos of myself where I feel my nose looks big, my skin looks overly bumpy and textured and my eyes get all dopey. As a human, of course these things pop into my head as I try to avoid certain angles and wonder how the pictures are looking.

I fake my confidence. 

I go out there and do the things that make me feel silly, posing in front of the camera, trying things out, doing different faces.. not having the slightest clue if it even looks good or not!

And I’ll tell you what, the more I fake it, the less I feel I need to fake it! 

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the only way to expand your comfort zone. Putting myself out there to model used to feel so awkward and terrifying, but I’ve now done it so many times that it’s almost as comfortable as sleeping or eating for me. 

I had to let confidence be an action before it could become a feeling. 

And even still, I have to actively work towards not letting my negative thoughts about myself have any space to grow! 

In summary, it’s not likely you can just feel “confident” for a boudoir shoot if you’ve never done it before. But maybe that’s exactly why you should do one! Fake it and grow that side of your comfort zone.

I do have some tips and tricks on ways to feel more comfortable going into your boudoir session though!



1.    Choose a photographer you feel comfortable with.

Not everyone will suit your personality, style or needs. It’s important you do some research on your photographer and make sure they are someone you can see yourself feeling comfortable around. Don’t be afraid to email or plan a call with a photographer to suss them out first!!

2.    Your wardrobe is so important.

Go shopping, pick out lingerie and things you feel super comfortable and happy in! 

3.    Embrace the Power of Mindfulness.

Practice deep breathing techniques and other mindfulness exercises that keep you in the moment and stop any intrusive thoughts.

4.    Remember the purpose.

This is about celebrating your unique beauty!! All the things you may feel self-conscious are things that make you, you. Authenticity is a beautiful thing and practicing self-acceptance is vital to our mental health.

5.    Trust the process of Boudoir Photography.

If you love the photos that the photographer you have hired has taken in the past, I’m sure they’ll get just as beautiful ones of you! Trust in your photographer that they will create the magic for you and just follow their lead. We not only provide professional hair and makeup to flatter you and will help you look and feel your best but the boudoir experience we provide will empower you to feel more confident well after we are done.

6.    Fake the confidence!!

As I’ve mentioned before, faking it does wonders. I promise your photographer will not judge you in the slightest for acting confident and trying to pose yourself or try different facial expressions in the photos. Us photographers love it when shoots feel collaborative!


1.    I send out detailed questionnaires.

This allows me to get to know you, your expectations, and your comfort levels before our session together!

2.    We’ll start the session fairly covered up.

I have a selection of robes and gowns in my client wardrobe. I always offer to begin the session pretty covered up so we can warm up to each other and get you comfortable in front of the camera before we get you in a more vulnerable state.

3.    I can pose you the entire session if needed.

I find a common fear is “what if I look stupid or do something that doesn’t look good?”. Girl, try anything!! I won’t judge. But if it helps, I start each session with posing tips and help you pose throughout the entire session as well.

4.    I put on music you like.

It’s easy to get lost in your thoughts while you are being photographed in silence. I find music helps everyone loosen up and get in the zone!

5.    I will set up a mirror while we shoot.

Sometimes seeing yourself and how you look can make you feel more at ease than just having to assume what you look like and overthink it!

6.    I’ll give you an occasional cheeky camera sneak peek.

I always show a few pictures I’ve taken throughout the session. I find this to be so reassuring that yes, I am in fact capturing beautiful photos of you!! 

7.    Get the complimentary makeup done!

I offer makeup at no extra cost with all of my bookings. Not only is it another form of art that can enhance someone’s feeling of confidence but it also gives us an hour to get to know each other before we start shooting!

I know boudoir sessions can be a very vulnerable thing that most people feel very nervous going into. This is what makes it the experience that it is! If it was just a normal thing that everyone did every day it would lose its magic. There is a certain liberating thrill to it! 

Personally, I find every girl who gets a boudoir session done pretty badass. They quiet the voice that says “but I’m not sexy like the other girls” (quick note, yes you are! Please stop saying that bullshit to yourself), it takes someone who is willing to just say “f*ck it” to all their insecurities, social expectations that may be placed on them, and having the bravery to step outside their comfort zone. Working with us to create beautiful art of themselves using one of the most vulnerable and rewarding forms of photography is the most empowering experience you can imagine.

This is part of the reason so many girls claim it to be life changing.

If you have any more questions about boudoir, would like more info on my sessions, or would like to book a boudoir photo session send me an email or fill out my contact form at: https://apricotaura.com.au/contact

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