Setting Boundaries at Your Boudoir Session: What You Can and Can’t Say No To

Boudoir session boundaries – you can say no to anything.

That’s not a caveat or a technicality, it’s the actual answer. In a legitimate boudoir session, there is no pose, level of undress, or type of shot that you are required to do. Your participation in any element of the session is always voluntary.

What You Can Say No To

Specific poses.

If Sabrina suggests a pose that doesn’t feel right, for any reason, whether you can articulate it or not, you can decline it. A different pose will be suggested.

Any level of undress.

The session doesn’t have a required level of nudity. You can wear as much or as little as you’re comfortable with, and you can change your mind at any point. You can spend the entire session in a robe if that’s what you want.

Being touched.

If you’d prefer not to be touched for posing adjustments, say so at the start of your session and direction will be entirely verbal throughout.

Certain camera angles or distances.

If something about how a shot is being framed makes you uncomfortable, you’re allowed to say that.

Anything that doesn’t feel like you.

If something about the session feels like it’s becoming something other than what you agreed to, you’re allowed to name that.

What Happens When You Say No

In a professional session, the answer to ‘I’d rather not do that’ is ‘okay, let’s try something else’. No pushback, no subtle disappointment that creates pressure, no revisiting the same request.

This is worth knowing before you arrive, because a lot of women find it easier to say no when they’ve already confirmed with themselves that saying no is allowed.

How to Say No Without It Feeling Awkward

• Say it simply: I’d rather not or can we try something else is enough. You don’t need to justify.

• Say it early: it’s easier to redirect before a shot than after

• It’s fine to be specific: I don’t want shots from that angle is specific and helpful

• Your discomfort is real information, you don’t need to analyse whether it’s justified before you mention it

What Tells You You’re in the Right Studio

The response to no is the clearest indicator of whether a studio operates professionally.

The right response: immediate acceptance, pivot to something else, no pressure.

Warning signs: a photographer who revisits something you’ve declined, makes you feel that saying no will negatively affect your photos, or creates an atmosphere where you feel you can’t speak up.

If Something Doesn’t Feel Right

Trust the feeling. You don’t need to be certain something is wrong before you say something. If you feel uncertain, say so. If the response you get is professional and respectful, that tells you something. If it isn’t, leave.

Before Your Session

If you have specific limits or boudoir session boundaries you want to establish before the shoot, mention it in your pre-session conversation with Jake. What you’re comfortable with, what you’d like to avoid, that information is useful and it’s not unusual to provide it.

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Apricot Aura is a private boudoir photography studio in central Geelong, Victoria. @apricotaura